Ooga chaaka ooga cha

I’m never having kids of my own, but if I do, I have the perfect plan for them.

If they consistently misbehave, I won’t punish them. Nopes, not me. I’ll just mess with their heads. I'll sit them down and tell them in a very solemn voice that they were adopted and that their real parents were criminals who have now been executed. For cannibalism.

I'll let that sink in for a moment, then sigh and walk away.